A Lot to Learn, George Has!

I like Star Wars as much as the next guy. I mean I'm not the first in line after camping out all night to see the lastest Star Wars film and I don't go around chanting in huttanese or anything (although, I do do a mean wookie impersonation "Wreeeagh!") but I do enjoy the films. There is not the faintest shadow of doubt in my mind that the original three movies were the best. the new ones (and any hard core SW fan will agree with me) were kinda crappy and lacking in the "original story idea" department. With the anticipation of the third movie in which Anakin skywalker becomes the dark and sinister super cool deep-voiced man we all know and love, Darth Vader, there is a lot on the line. After all, Star Wars fans have been waiting for this moment for decades, the time when we actually see the fall of the senate and the rise of the empire not to mention it's once good leader. At this time all I have to say is something that was expressed much better than I could by Mark Tatulli in a Saturday eddition of his comic strip "Heart of the City" (great comic by the way). Pehaps fans of this comic strip will recall the words of dean as he pens a letter to George Lucas regarding the third installment in his beloved trilogy: "Dear George...don't screw it up!"
Never before have I seen a clearer statement of the truth. All anyone could ever ask is that the director of the beloved trilogy (the aforementioned George Lucas) does not once again degrade his own trilogy.
I hate to say it but I predict an omen of doom for this next one. I have several speculations on why it will suck big time. Allow me to ellaborate.

1) The doom of the previous movies: George and his creative team at lucas film and Industrial light and magic has produced the most crappy movies with regards to episodes one and two by producing movies packed with slipshod special affects, resulting in films that look akin to a bunch of people saying "Hey, forget about story, lets see what we can do with computer technology and load it in the film." The original movies had no CGI to benefit them, so the older movies were more limited, meaning that a greater emphasis had to be placed on the acting. And seriously, their CGI wasnt all that good. There was better CGI work in Shrek (good movie by the way). Call me old fashioned but I prefer seeing latex Jaba the Huts, puppet yodas and little men in ewok suits as opposed to cgi creatures. they just look more real to me. I don't think George has learned from his past mistakes of substituting CGI over substance, (infact he seems to be heading more in a "the more CGI the better" kind of mentallity) so I don't hold much hope.
2) the webdocs were boring!: The webdocumentaries (see starwars.com) were very uninteresting and boring. My attention span started to lag about after a minute into the first one and after awhile I think I gave up watching them all together. Plus to back up my previous point, they seemed to talk more about new technology and not about story.
3) The pattern of acending greatness: I have a theory about movies (and no I do not have alot of time on my hands!) which are in trilogy format. Usually when a trilogy or group of movie is planned they will accend in greatness from the first one to the last. Now this does not include moviesthat have sequels created after the sucess of the first movie ( all though some sequels in this categorey such as the "Toy Story" sequel, surpass the originals) as is true with the lord of the rings trilogy (seriously, those movies just kept getting better and better!) So the way I see is episodes one and two sucked, but a new hope was great, empire ruled and Jedi blew me away. So in theory, the revenge of the sith should be better than the first two but not better than new hope." But it's just a theory.
3) Advertizing : For all of you who have seen the new star wars trailer, you will note that it begins and is almost half comprised of footage from a new hope. While this is a good technique as it takes SW fans back to the nostalgia of where it all began, I think the new movie should have enough new and cool and interesting footage to stand on it's own with out using shots from the other star wars films. And seriously, from what I've seen nothing in this movie looks either new or even that interesting (all though that wookie army sure looks cool!) Hopefully when the movie does come out I'll be wrong about this one and there will be alot of neat stuff in it but thus far...
Those are a few reasons which I think could contribute to the fall of this critical film. All I have to say to george is , buddy you once said that you didnt care what the fans thought of your movies and that the movies would progress to your own liking. Buddy unless you want a bunch of angry protestors parading outside your home in jawa attire, you'd better focus more on the story and the characters this time.
Foreever beyond normal
J.J.P.
ps. for all of you wondering I have not purchased the new star wars dvd. I did not want to pay 70 bucks (p[robably more since I live in Canada, althoguh Our dollar is at an all time high...still...) for 4 disks of a movie I already own, only which isnt ruined with Hayden Christiansen's face behind the darth vader mask. Although, I do know some who have bought the dvd...you know who you are...Nerds!

Whadduya Know, it Works!

You know, I really cannot fathom the complexities that are the human mind. People try so so hard to accomplish something, just so they won't have to go to the trouble of creating something else. What I am referring to of course is companies shaming consumers with products that don't work. I bought some glue once (and of course it was overly priced) and I was able to get, oh I don't know...three drops use out of it before the darned lid glued on to the cap and I had to mutilate and hack away at said lid with a hobby knife (the top of which snapped off in the process) just to get it open. Here is the really funny thing: while the glue conveniently sealed the lid of the glue bottle on so that it was rendered useless, it didn't do didily in terms of sticking together what I had to glue. Now my question is this: did the people putting out this glue intend for me to use this product? I mean wouldn't the first question of concern when developing this product be "Well we're dealing with a sticky substance. How do we make sure that the lid doesn't stick to the top of the glue"? I don't know, there seems to be a long line of consumer goods that just tend to break so that we, the consumers, are forced to buy more of them. As long as we're talking about glue I may as well expatiate. Have you ever bought white wood carving glue that actually doesn't clog the lid of the bottle that it comes in? I haven't. Even when it's relatively new the stupid stuff clogs up and you can't use it again, unless of course you use the aforementioned crude but effective method, of course the only draw back is that exposure will cause the glue to dry up forcing you to go out and buy more of the stuff anyway. It's a lose lose situation. And don't get me started on gluesitcks. A glue stick that actually sticks stuff down is a miracle not yet witnessed on this earth. Actually the glue stick gives the appearance of working. It sticks things down for, oh about half an hour, before the overall purpose of the glue sticking stuff down is nil. I was doing a presentation once and in the middle everything started falling off my board and looking really crappy because I stuck it all down with a glue stick. And whiteout-ugh! If you aren't getting sloppy liquid paper on your hands, your waiting for it to dry so you can continue writing, or trying to get the now gelatinous stuff to work at all. Of course they have those convenient rolling whiteout things now...But the magic tape never seems to do it's job properly and the mechanism breaks down. Of course these are only a small percentage of items which constantly break down, the list goes on and on. Staplers? Always jamming. Printers? Always jamming. Hole-punchers? (I'd like to just for the record say that this is getting monotonous!) Always jamming. Internet? Always down. Computer? Always crashing (I hate windows!) Yeah I could go on for a while yet but I don't want you to miss your next birthday.
I mean, I don't get it, in the last century we've put man on the moon, developed a medium through which millions of people across the globe can communicate ( the internet) and developed a solution for diabetes ( a Canadian discovery! Yeah!). How hard can it be to make a glue stick that sticks?
My point is, why do people insist on making crap? Why do people work at trying to advertise and sell something that sucks? Wouldn't it be easier just to make a good quality product that works, which encourages everybody to use it? Wouldn't the product naturally sell itself? I mean the producers would be happy because everyone would be buying their product, and ergo they'd be making money, and the consumers would be happy because they'd be getting their money's worth. Wouldn't that help everybody?
One might wonder why I get so upset over a glue stick, the fact is I am not overpoweringly upset (though it may seem that way to some who feel I am coming on too strong) I'm just ticked off (as I'm sure you all are) of buying crap from producers. I mean they do surveys and marketing research to find out what consumers want so that they can fulfill the needs of the consumers. That's why restaurants have those response cards you are encourage to fill out. thats why I just filled out a survey for Canadian businesses last week. The end result should make things better for everyone. So why don't the producers make things of a higher caliber for the consumers? Logically, I can see no reason.