Sigh! thye just keep getting worse! (END THE INCESSANT ADVERTIZING part dada da dada da da...)

Yes more bad commercials. As promised I will touch on three things:
1) Mr. Wendy the unofficial spokesman
2) Deluded lying women
3)McDonalds
This will be quick!
1) Mr. Wendy the "unofficial spokesman!" First of all, it’s a really dumb concept. Officially making a spokesman that you claim to be unofficial, when he really is official because Wendy's officially made him unofficial officially! Plus that and he's annoying! All i can say is this is the mark of what happens when your owner dies!
2) What's with these Nivea women who sit in front of lie detectors and play in poker tournaments and lie about their age? More surprisingly, what natural or man made disorder has made all the men around these women so blind that a shortsighted genetically engineered mole-bat with no eyes that couldn’t see even if it had eyes could tell better than they could that these women are not twenty eighty but more like FIFTY SIX! Holy crap! How blind and stupid do these people think we are? "Do you ever lie about your age?" "No I'm only twenty-eight!" Oh yeah I believe you grandma, I also believe that forgetting to take your medication combined with the usually delirium of old age has some how erased thirty odd years from your life to the final total of your real age!!!!!!! Ha!
3)McDonalds just had a really bad slogan "I'm Lovin' It!" I'm shoveling it more like! (apply your own meaning) An attempt to make a burger franchise which is responsible for depleting half the rain forest seem more hip to the your public who knows that eating their food will kill them painlessly IF THEY"RE LUCKY!!!! And I know this even without seeing "Super Size Me"....although I should! McDonalds burgers are sloppy greasy and are about and inch smaller than they look on TV...but that's advertising!

Ok on to more ranting. There are a few things that are just wrong, the hockey lockout, 82 year old Romanian woman giving birth, and Shrek 2 loosing the Oscar come to mind (but I'm okay about that now!) But worst of all are those Fido phone commercials where that creepy old guy who looks uncannily like my computer science teacher (I swear, it's is twin brother!) Not only is the stupid gimmick of using the whole "Dogs are in the commercials because our name is Fido" thing old, but the old guys monotone condescending delivery Erie, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable about switching phone companies. Fido needs no material, and fast.

That's all for now. But trust me I'll be back! the bad commercial...LURKS!!!!

Undisputed King of the Grass

If you have been on freshmakers blog you probably have heard about this, but I shall explain in much greater detail. This is the story of how I became an underground drug dealer, hooked all of my friends on hardcore drugs, got four criminal convictions, a death sentance (in Canada!) and then became a clean man...all in two days!

(WARNING: this story is not for the dumb of mind. If you are not one to understand underlying subtilities quickly, I suggest you read the post about annoying commercials.)

It all began one day when my friend fresh maker and I were getting somewhat annoyed by the constant questioning of one Ike Shmurlick (all names have been changed) on the subject of miniature gaming. Despite our repeated attempts to convince Shmurlick that miniature games were not for him, Ike went out and bought some. Freshmaker was somewhat ticked off. He expressed his complaints to Rickel Kirsht, a friend and comrade. "Shmurlick wants to start everything you start," Kirsht explained, "So why don't you tell him you started drugs? tell him your a heroin addict." Freshmaker, with Kirsht's help, did. Thus began an elaborate conspiracy of drug use behind the local value mart in front of our school. It is debatable wither Shmurlick truly believed Kirsht and Freshmaker, as neither have been known to keep a straight face, but the seed was planted. When I was notified of what was going on I decided to go along.

After lunch in biology Shmuirlick questioned me about my alleged drug use. Going along with it I said I did crack and Heroin. Now if you knew me and the people I hang out with, you'll know that we're like the farthest thing from druggies. Shmurlick couldn't see this.

I put my acting skills to the test and I calmly answered every question of Shmerlicks. He was Thouroughly convinced that I was a hard core druggie. "How can you be so calm?" he asked.
"It's not that big a deal man." "I can' believe you! I never thought you would stoop so low!"

I then proceeded to tell Shmurlick that the whole grade did heroin, and word soon got around to the whole grade. I debated with freshmaker about when to call the joke off. "It was just crazy!" I told him. "I was just joking around wondering when he would clue in that I was joking, he never did." We agreed to call it off that after noon, but after some serious alterations were made to the original tale.

Tales were told by all who were in on the gag that I was a druggie king pin, a man who had been convicted 4 times and had a death warrant on my head (I had managed to get arrested without my parrents knowledge.) I inadvertantly told Shmurlick that I was able to snort about 200 lbs of heroin (do you even snort heroin? I seriously dont know!) which is about enough to make you die and come back to life about 15 times in a row. "Remember that time when we were in the boat with Undisputed King's stash?" Small Frozen hamster said laughingly. "Good times with UK's Stuff! UK's Stuff is the best!" Commented Adam Rubinsky.

The funniest thing about the gag was it's connection to miniature gaming. We convinced Shmurlick that anyone who does miniature gaming does drugs. "How do you think they play dungeons and dragons?" Freshmaker told him. "You cant sit there for six hours watching some guy read a rule book with out being on something!"
"It's a lot better when you play with drugs," I told Shmurlick. "You see the figures come alive and start shooting and killing each other. It's much more fun!"

The Prank came to it's climax when I brought a bag of bakign powder to school and began making a trade with Richael Kirscht. "No I dont have enough money. I can't take it!"
"Well I cant keep it any longer someone will see! Here Shmurlick you take it."
"No I can't."
"Come on just take it! the first one is free! You come back to me later and I'll charge you!"
And just when I pretended to snort some, my two comrades shouted a "Gotcha!" and some of the baking powder went up my nose. Oh well...I guess I kind of deserved it!

I guess out of context it seems like a preety mena thing to do but you have to understand, most of us were laughing on the floor while telling shmurlick these things and anyone else that knew us would have said "You guys are lying," when they first heard it and that would be that.
Despite knowing us and seeing us laughing, Shmurlick believed. I guess it was kind of my fault in a way that it accellerated the way it did. I tried to pit my acting skills against Shmurlick's wit, but I never counted on his wit loosing! I think that if Shmurlick had seen me laughing, that would have been that because he knew me better. All in all Shmurlick is a good guy, just not one that is cut out for miniature gaming.

I was tempted to call it off pretty quickly, but we wanted to see how long we could pull it off. In the immortal words of Freshmaker, "This is an oppertunity, oppertunities like this dont come along everyday. We have to go with this as far as we can!"

I'm not entirely proud of what I've done but at the same time it was preety funny! This si Undisputed King saying see you later and keep clean!

They're getting worse...I didnt think it was possible...they got worse! (END THE INCESSANT ADVERTIZING! part...part one two many!)

Okay I said I would cove these things last time and I will. The lie detector girl is number #1

Guy with lie detector: Do you ever lie about your age?

Lie Girl: No I'm only 28!

(lie detector draws a straight line even though the girl or should I say "woman" is clearly decades beyond 28!)

Besides the fact that the girl is obviously NOT 28 it just shows how looks obsessed and diluded our society is. I'm tired of seeing