Brothers?

Yeah just incase there was any discrepincy about that picture reference in the last blog, I think this should clear it up!

Sean Baldwin The End of the Experiment

If you have been to www.freshmaker7.blogspot.com you will notice that Sean has got his computer back. This said, I don't think the girl experiment is going to work out very well, provided they are not noobing out on battlefield 2. But fear not friends. Unbeknownst to him I will still conduct the odd experiment, simply because he makes such a good subject, from time to time. However, I feel it is essential not to take another step without revealing a few of my carefull observations about the whole experiment in general. To take another step without reviewing the facts would be folly, or in other words really really bad. So heres the low down. Enjoy.

Why Sean Baldwin Has no Hope in That Bad Place with the Fire of Ever Having a Girlfriend (shortened title)

An Essay by Undisputed King (Me!)

Sean and Video Games

While most people develop an interest in girls at a certain age Sean has not fully. But he has developed an interest in games of a video nature. It can be easily said that since he has been playing with video games longer than he has been playing with girls (stop it you dirty people. That's not what I meant! I know what you're thinking!) The video game has replaced the place in Seans life where the girl should be. Below is an example.

(cat 1 talks to cat 2 who is playing with a piece of string)

Cat1: Hey, whatcha doin'?

Cat2: Not much just playing with this piece of string.

Cat1: Cool I'll see you later, like oh in about a year!

(a year later, Cat2 is still playing with string. Cat one has a mouse in it's teeth)

Cat1: Hey, wanna come catch mice with me? It's fun!

Cat2: No thanks! I'm busy playing with this string.

Mouse: mother always told me not to leave the hole alone! Why didnt I listen? WHY?

(mouse is instantly devoured by cat one. Cat two continues playing with the string.)

As is with the cat, the video game has replaced the female element in seans life, become the string if you will. When the mouse is replaced by the string, there is no need for the mouse.

Aggressivness

On hearing the news about his computers repair, from one canadian computing establishment, I unfortunatly witnessed a display to which this day I still have nightmares. Sean made hollering noises which now I know are the sounds of 'pwnage!' the subject began running off the walls (literally!) uttering phrases like "I'll pwn you beetches. The Noob cycle has been brought back into ballance." The subject then offended my senses with a few pelvic thrusts, and started "owning" his moitor (the said monitor is now in critical condition.) This aggressive behaviour can only be described as what is best known as a girl repellent. Any lady who perfers sweet sensitive, understanding guys, or normal human beings, would find sean's behaviour abrasive.

Looks

Partially because of the Sean's aggressive nature, it has developed an aggressive look. While not ugly, it can be safe to say that Sean is not beautiful. This aside there are many other subtile things about the Seans appearance that may be found repellent by most people. Here is an unaltered photograph.

A recent suvey shows that 9.5 out of 10 girls would not like to date the guy in this picture. (inceidently the tenth girl is named "Frou Shezennooberpownernbum" and is currently awaiting sentance in a war crimes tribunal.)

Sean Baldwin Doesnt Care About Noobs

Sean Thinks of himself as an '1337' gamer and as such he pwns noobs with little or no regard to their feelings. In a recent conversation with Sean, the elite gamer stated "I pwned so many noobs this weekend I ranked up twice." Kanye East recently was seen on television giving a raise money for mistreated noobs benefit and candidly spoke out about his opinons with Sean Baldwin's treatment of noobs. His statements are below.

I hate the way they portray noobs in the media. You seen a noob pwning it's called hxors!!!! If Sean Baldwin does it it's called pwnage!!!! And nobody cares because most of the people are noobs. And even for me to complain about it I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn my montior off because it's too hard to watch. I've been noobing out before giving a noob donation, I've been calling my clan mate trying to see what is the biggest score I can get. And just to imagine if I was online and those were my people getting pwned. If there is anybody out there that wants to give anything we can help, with the setup, the way the server is set up, we can help. The noobs, the mmo people, those with less ram, [it's] slow as possible. Noob cross is doing everything they can. We already realise most of the people who can help are playing CS right now fighting another way. They've already given them permission to log on and pwn us!!

(Here, coanchor Austin Powers interjected an unrelated statement. Kanye East finished off with this closing remark.)

Sean Baldwin Doesn't care about noobs!

There you have it! If a celebrity says it's true, then it must be true. This is Undisputed King signing off for the Baldwin Report...for now!!